How to keep tabs on your child this Navratri (with their consent)

Navratri, the nine-day celebration that leads up to Dussehra, marks the beginning of the festive season in India. For nine nights, people young and old (but mostly young) make their way to garba venues for hours of lively dancing. Should you track your child? 

For most young people, this is their first time without any (serious) adult supervision. Imagine going dancing with your friends to a pub except you get to do it for nine nights in a row! 

To be sure, Navratri is as much a time for fasting and praying as it is for fun celebrations. But ask any young Gujarati, and chances are garba nights will feature as the high point of this festival. 

You get to meet people your age, hang out with them, and occasionally love blossoms. Which is great when you are young and single and ready to take on the world. As a parent, not so much. 

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Much ink has been spilt writing about the rise in demand for private sleuths during the festival. Parents, concerned about their child’s whereabouts or who they’re hanging out with, aren’t impervious from hiring private eyes to slyly follow them for nine nights. 

Depending on whom you ask, the fees for such services can range from thousands to a few lakhs. Discretion is assured. And consent is never considered. 

Should you track your child?

Privacy has been a hotly debated topic, at tech conferences, in popular culture, and among ethicists. There can likely never be a straight answer to whether it’s ok to use technology to track your child. 

For parents of pre-schoolers, and schoolers, Apple’s Air Tag remains one of the most popular ways to know their child’s whereabouts as they go from home to school to cricket practice, to tuition classes, and piano lessons. 

But is it moral to slyly drop that same Air Tag into your teenager’s bag or pocket when they’re out with their friends? Is it okay to spy on your kid without them knowing?  

According to child psychologist, Shreya Vyas says, “It becomes an issue when the child feels like their parents don’t trust them. Once distrust is established, the road is not smooth for both parties. It affects the child more and the issue becomes deeply rooted. If the child is under 18 years of age, they do not have much of a choice but after that, healthy conversations should be initiated, and consent is advised.” 

Shreya Vyas isn’t alone. Several studies have shown that surveillance can negatively impact a parent-child relationship, potentially causing stress, damaging trust, and encouraging covert behaviour. Rather than depending entirely on technological means to track your child’s whereabouts, it’s preferable to foster open communication. 

How to track your child this Navratri (with their consent)

The prospect of nine unchaperoned nights of festivities holds a promise for the young that few parents will ever relate to. Yet, real concerns remain. 

One parent revealed: “We read about unfortunate events unfolding during the festivities where young adults are caught smoking or drinking. We are worried if the freedom provided is not being misused.” 

Another parent shared their view: “These days, children are receiving global values where dating has become common. Our daughter goes to a co-ed school so friendships with boys is expected but we are worried if they are exploring a little too much at a young age.” 

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While these are legitimate concerns, parents may have to take the high road to trust their child even if it is a mistake. To build healthy relationships, they will have to be open enough to discuss these matters with their children to establish trust. They need to be welcoming enough when the child feels like sharing something controversial which may land them in trouble. 

For example, if a child comes to the parent and shares that they tried smoking a cigarette with a friend. Instead of immediately scolding them for doing something wrong, listen to them and discuss why it may not have been a great idea. 

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As child psychologist, Shreya Vyas says: “If parents provide an accommodating environment where the child feels heard, most of the time, children usually end up confessing or revealing their real plans. They may hide things initially but eventually open up to their parents. Other children often share a trusting relationship with their sibling or uncle/aunt. If they feel uncomfortable sharing secrets with parents, they may come clean to them.” 

The psychologist also recommends consent from the children as this provides them with insights of parent’s intentions and highlights their worries. While discussing garba venues and setting their curfew deadlines, layout concerns with emphasis on safety and make sure to clarify your intentions.

This makes the child feel responsible and provides them with an opportunity to discuss their views on parental control and supervision. After a balanced discussion, the children may consider meeting the parents halfway and give consent which works for everyone. 

Here is how you can track your child this Navratri. 

Air Tag

An item tracker, Air Tag was developed to help locating your wallet or keys. However, in this case, you can attach it to an iPhone, or the child can carry it in their pocket or bag. This way the child gets to enjoy the festival while the parents can also rest easy. While supporting Bluetooth connectivity, it can keep the parents updating about their child’s whereabouts. 

Location sharing

This feature is available in every smartphone. With the help of WhatsApp, the children can share live location with their parents for the duration they are stepping out for Garba celebrations. This way the parents can just check if the child is at the venue dancing or eating at a restaurant or if they are on their way back. 

Also, the live location-sharing has proved to be helpful for the kids as well. It helps them look for their friends at the venue easily and without much trouble. It has become a convenient choice for all! 

Family sharing

A family can sync all devices to Family Sharing on the Find My app on Apple devices like iPhone or iPad. It tracks location of the device and shows up on Google Maps with their images.

So, everyone in the family is aware of each other’s location during Navratri. In case, different members are going to different places for Garba, they can all sync time of return or pick the other up if required. 

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A few families have already adopted these technological advancements. It has proved to work for them while maintaining healthy relationships with their children.